Ths week's community newspaper came and I purused the "Public Safety" section to see what the miscreants were up to in our neigborhood.

It looks like someone is having too much fun with these police reports. I listed a few from the last weeks but here are some, uneditted and just as they appeared in the newspaper [with a few comments from me added] . I am not making this up.

  • A woman reported missing by her husband came home. She was out shopping.
  • A man contacted at Westlake Park was not smoking marijuana as origionally reported, just plain ol' ordinary cigarettes.
  • A Tri-Met bus driver called police to report the man who helped him fix the fare box using an eight-inch hunting knife as "suspicious". Reports suggested the driver did not consider the man threatening. [Just your normal, everyday citizen helping out. --MB]
  • Police took a call from a man claiming he came home to find 10 people camped out in his house. The man retracted his story after taking his medication and realizing he'd imagined the whole thing. [This happens to me all the time. --MB]
  • [This is exactly as it appears in the paper. --MB] A Dumpster fire was reported at the Luscher Farm dog park. The Dumpster is provided for the disposal of ... ew, gross.