Our local community newspaper prints a "public safety" section which lists the week's DUIs, car breakins and other police incidents. Well, it's clear that police work is not all car chases and high tension stake outs from these police incidents I've collected the last three weeks:

• Police helped a woman retrieve her keys from underneath the seat in her car.
• A concerned citizen reported a man on the sidewalk holding his head. Police reponded and found the man talking on a cell phone.
• An employee of the Indoor Tennis Center called to report a leaky toilet in the men's room.
• Two people found laying on the railroad tracks near Summit Driver were told not to do such things.
• Reports of a glowing orange apparition in the dog park on Stafford proved to be unfounded -- just a light held by a dog walker.
• The intoxicated driver reported at Lakeridge High School was actually a person learning how to drive.

As Dave Barry would say, I'm not making this up.

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